Keep watching! I will restore this city and heal the wounds of my people. I will lavish them with peace and stability.”Jeremiah 33:6
Have you ever been in a place of brokenness? A place where you come to the end of yourself. The walls of self-protection no longer comfort you. Here you are a victim of emotional wounds. You taught yourself a long time ago to keep people at a distance. You tricked yourself. You told yourself that you let people close to you, and you did but only so close. You fooled yourself that you had the control but then you sabotaged and pushed those you loved far away. They could only take it for so long and then they turned their backs on you. Then the story you tell yourself became a reality. The narrative that runs through your head that no one can love you. One day you wake up broken and isolated. You are disoriented by all the lies you have been telling yourself, but just ahead is a new place. This is the place of restoration and healing. This is where I was the day God whispered to me. He said, “Mary keep watching. I will restore you and heal you from your wounds. I will lavish you with peace and stability.” He spoke and I pondered. For me it took pushing the one person in my life I loved above all others. The only one who ever showered me with unconditional love. I became so dependent on that love that I made it my god. I couldn’t have enough and when he couldn’t give me more I pushed him away. What I understand now that I never did before is that this love didn’t come from him but from God. God was lavishing His love on me. I just wasn’t in the place where I could receive it. Now I’m on my own away from this man I still love and God is healing me. As soon as I let go f him my healing was immediate and deep and for the first time in my life I do feel restored. It took me reaching to God through loss, through change, through pain. I am thankful for this place of brokenness, for in it I am learning to let go and let God love me completely.
Meditations from the heart 