Meditations from the heart

Jerusalem will have a sweet sounding name once again. The good I do for her will bring me joy, praise and honor among all the nations of the earth for they will be in awe and tremble at the peace and prosperity I give to this city.”Jeremiah 33:9

Have you ever been in a place of despair? A place of complete loss. You have fallen and in the process have let go of your golden rope of hope. You lay in the ashes and watch as the rope dangles in front of you but you cannot grab hold of it, you cannot even lift your head. It taunts you as it swings like a pendulum reminding you of all you once had and let go of, but then you ask yourself did I ever have this hope to begin with. It was on this day that God said, “Mary you will have a sweet sounding name once again. You will no longer be called insecure or fearful. I will rename you. You will be called; confident, fearless, and beautiful. The good I will do for you will bring me joy. Others will be awe at the peace and prosperity I give you.” He spoke and I pondered. I stood at a crossroad. Would I take the road that was familiar to me or this time would I take the unfamiliar. I am no stranger to suffering, it had become a way of life for me and in the past I put up my walls and stuffed the pain. I never allowed myself to heal or to go through it. I always found a way around it. Here I was almost 9 months into my recovery from codepdency and found myself in a very profound place, a place of great opportunity birthed from great loss. God had laid the ground work for me. He had been cleaning out the foundation in my life. What was old and decayed had to be removed. What was insufficient and too weak to support my new structure had to be removed, replaced and reinforced. I knew I had the patience to endure the hard parts now I must trust, surrender, and allow God to heal and prepare me. There was no other choice for me but to press into Gods space and allow Him to heal me.Prayer: Father, this loss is too much for me to bear I am lying here in the ashes. I know what was old and decayed must be removed, but the pain grips my heart. Carry this burden for me. I let go of all that held me back from you. I move towards You in childlike trust. I surrender. Prepare my heart I open it to You as You make me into a fearless, confident, beautiful woman.In Jesus